Revenge of Alpha 5, the Wandering, Spacefaring Samurai Robot
by chickenscrews
Summary: Rocky saw a pachinko machine. Billy punched him.


Revenge of Alpha 5, the Wandering, Spacefaring Samurai Robot

Chapter One: The Forsaken Lands

Alpha 5 sliced the demented Dragonzord's arm clean in half down the middle with his mighty sword, Uramasa, bathing in the cascade of electrical sparks as distant stars exploded around him, igniting the void of space into a fiery conflagration. The infernal zord who unleashed 10,000 years of darkness upon Edenoi released a terrible howl from its venomous maw, summoning an army of zealous Tenga Warriors to destroy the offending robot.

But Uramasa sang to its wielder's vassals of the flocking hordes who charged the space-samurai from behind and the Tengas were soon eviscerated from the fire-lit sky at the sudden appearance of an inter-dimensional portal sending all the wretched birds to the nethermost depths of the Sanzu River as conjured by the holy sages, Bulk and Skull, who answered their master's call for aid. And with enemy reinforcements destroyed, Alpha 5 sliced clean through the Dragonzord's neck, decapitating the beast as magical zord blood soaked his samurai robes and flowing hair.

When he landed atop the streets of gold with the zord's body crashing just behind him, Alpha 5 rose to meet the legion of diverse monsters marching before their insidious tyrant. And there, behind some 9,999½ armored atrocities and behemoths of war, seated atop the bejeweled throne on his vast, demon-carried carriage was the Dark Lord himself: Ernie of the Burble Empire.

At the foppishly-dressed, overweight Caucasian man's behest after the servant Rito fed him one last grape from the royal fruit bowl and the fan-waver Goldar completed another swing of the palm leaf, Ernie's armies halted as he stood to address the three warriors before him, "You have shown great bravery and strength, Alpha 5 of Edenoi. You and your vassals are indeed mighty warriors and it's a shame we must spill each other's blood on the grounds of your former home. But only join me now, kneel to me, and I shall make you a king of empires to rule under my own. You shall sit at my right hand and your kin will be prosperous until the end of time. Answer now, for this is my final offer."

Grand Mage Bulk spoke, "Don't listen to him, my liege. We know all too well of his false promises which only veil a sinister intent to make all life perish under his feet. He will create slaves of our children and make our descendants the dregs of civilization for eternity."

Archbishop Skull concurred whilst chewing gum, "Forsooth, O great Alpha. King Ernie is only concerned for his _own_ empire's prosperity. He will crush all that is not of his bloodline, even those most loyal to him. Servitude to his dark will is rewarded only by treachery and an unmarked grave."

The unrested souls of those lost under Ernie's reign gathered into immense winds that blew past Alpha 5, their vengeful screams and non-corporeal forms fluttering his long hair and robes dyed in the lifeblood of his enemies. He raised Uramasa to the fiery heavens and proclaimed, "Your counsel is most sound, High Sages Bulk and Skull, my most trusted of companions with whom I conquered death and misfortune more times than the malevolent Ernie engorges himself in an entire solar cycle. But your caution is unwarranted, for I have suffered firsthand the wickedness that is the Burble Empire, as you've known since you first discovered me on the precipice of eternity after surviving betrayal by this same gluttonous fiend's forces, and the spirits of those he's murdered cry to me even now to end his empire so they may finally know rest."

With that, the robotic space-samurai pointed his extensive sword at the villainous king, an army of monsters standing between them, and declared, "Know this, O wretched Burble: so long as there exists goodness, virtue, and a desire for peace in even the basest of living creatures, there shall always be those who strive for your downfall, for you are the antithesis of all that is just in the universe. As champion for those who cry but have no voice, I shall forever stand against oppression such as yours until one of us ceases to either draw breath or process positronic algorithms. For all that you've slain, for my beloved Scorpina, and for wherever life exists in the universe known and yet undiscovered, I swear now to end you."

King Ernie of the Burble Empire replied, "Then I regret it must come to this, Alpha 5 of Edenoi. You would have made a fine addition to my army." He held out his hand and Goldar knelt before him, presenting a royal pillow upon which was perched the Dragon Dagger. Ernie picked up the instrument of destruction and played the legendary Song of the Dragon, the very same which once summoned the ill-fated zord.

At the ominous music's call, six lights of various color—red, blue, yellow, pink, black, and white—appeared from the sky in front of the Dark Lord's army and his most powerful servants descended to the golden streets: the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. There stood Jason, Billy, Trini, Kimberly, Zach, and Tommy, the sextet of mighty warriors for the forces of darkness yet unmorphed and garbed in royal attire and capes of majestic fur with metal laurels of their matching colors wreathed atop their heads. Lord Tommy Oliver gave the command to his evil brethren, "It's morphin' time!" and the six unholy warriors transformed into the very same Power Rangers who laid waste to numerous galaxies in their malicious emperor's name.

Alpha resheathed Uramasa to prepare for battle as Bulk and Skull readied their magic staffs.

"Uh, Bulky," Archbishop Skull quivered whilst tenderizing the gum in his mouth, "you think maybe we might be a little in over our heads this time?"

Grand Mage Bulk swallowed in fear, "Aye, Skull. Our fortune does not bode well on this day. But be it on green pastures or the gates of the underworld, I shall never cower from our Lord Alpha's side."

"Yay verily," replied Skull.

"Truly, I could not ask for more loyal compatriots, nor would I dare face oblivion with any other souls," Alpha 5 proudly complimented his friends. Then he turned to face them and said to them in a low, solemn voice, "For the Chunky Chicken."

And then the brave samurai robot charged the villainous Power Rangers with his loyal vassals close behind.


End file.
